Modern Life is Rubbish

Please don't give up at the first few paragraphs!

It's been a few years since United have been such a big release from life in general and work in particular. But, it really is just now. Saturday has become a the highlight of the week from endless pressures at work and the world's depressing spiral towards right-wing populism and god knows what else.

But it's true. I just haven't had the time or the inclination to write anything for months because I'm always either sitting in work until silly o'clock, doing stuff for work in the house or feel too tired if I have free time (even during the holidays) and mentally just don't feel like doing anything. I'm not the only one by the looks of it. The United blogsphere, a previously healthy group of bloggers (NotSiggiJonssen, Timothy Van Der Muelen and Arab Analytics amongst others)  all of whom had their own particular style and provided great content on all things DUFC appear to have either slowed to a snail's pace or disappeared completely. It's a bloody shame.

There is a growing number of people saying the same thing, in a wide range of jobs. A new normal of being gas-lit (never even knew what that phrase meant until a few months ago, it means psychological manipulation usually into thinking everything is your fault), passive aggressive emails, cuts, cuts and more fucking cuts, how to get more for less, busy work, ticky-box exercises that are just completely pointless, becoming ever more micro-managed, faux concern, feeling like your every-movement is now monitored, blame-shifting, KPI's, targets, endless satisfaction survey's that you spend so much time doing that they cause you more stress because you just can't get on with your fucking job etc. etc. I just get a general feeling from people that work has become one big arse-covering exercise.

When people used to retire or leave work after a long spell of service they and colleagues used to give long speeches which would usually be full of hilarious anecdotes about things they had seen over the years, pranks they had pulled, things they had got away with, daft things they and workmates past and present had done. Recent ones I heard about from people have had none of that. Nobody has had any stories at all. Why? Because work is now a fucking joyless experience where everything is completely monotonous and dehumanised. It's like the fucking Borg have taken over. 

At university I remember studying the sociology of work and found it really interesting learning about models like Fordism (based on Henry Ford in car manufacturing) and Taylorism (Frederick Winslow Taylor who implemented 'scientific management' in manufacturing industries in the late 19th and early 20th centuries). Their drive for relentless productivity were tempered by the Human Relations Approach and the growth of large-scale trade unions. It now seems that these models are back with a vengeance. Maybe it's the advent of companies like Amazon that are driving all of this along with the competition from human rights-free societies like China who's working practices are spreading out around the world. Insecure work is increasingly the norm and the Welfare State has been eroded whilst inequality is at eye-watering levels. All the health and wellbeing afternoons (nice as they are) or team building days aren't fucking changing this.

It's weird that at a time when awareness of mental health issues are seen as such a big concern in the media, that so many workers are being forced off work due to stress through either excessive workload, bullying, assaults (e.g. in retail), or lack of support from management. It's ironic that both the last and the current government are bemoaning Britain's lack of productivity whilst remaining oblivious to the possibility that maybe current, toxic working practices are pissing people off and making them less productive? In my opinion a happy worker is a productive worker. Instead, workers are becoming increasingly brow-beaten and accepting of being treated like shite, happy to just shut their doors and look after number one out of self-preservation. When you add in Brexit making us all poorer, the horrors going on in Ukraine and Gaza and the utter-shit show developing across the pond in the US it's a fucking grim time in history. And it's not just me who thinks this way either.

Anyway, this is a football blog honestly 🤣

It is against this backdrop that football has become more important that ever. Crowds are up, more kids are going to Scottish games. People are starting to live for the weekend again. I don't think things will ever go back to the late 80's/early 90's escapism of getting off your face every weekend but people are clearly looking for things that bring them joy again.

United have adapted incredibly well to the Premier League. Far better than they did last time on a fraction of the budget too. I said previously that it's not that hard to build a decent team in the Scottish Premiership. Where we spent stupid amounts of money after our last promotion for teams that were a. Brutal under Mellon b. Dull and revolved around a talented individual (Levitt) under Courts c. Spineless and shite under Ross/Fox, it's been very different this season so far. The credit for this has to go to Jim Goodwin. Cynics could argue there is not a massive difference between this team's style and that of Mellon or Courts but the difference is the current team all look like they enjoy what they are doing and trust the manager. Goodwin doesn't try to bullshit people the way the other two did at times either. The way this team fights right to the end is a joy to watch. I've said it before and I'll say it again, United fans are an appreciative bunch. If they see honesty from players and if they see the team going for it they'll get right behind the team.

To go from the Mike Bassett-esque League Cup group campaign (including shock Luxembourg result getting us through) to hovering around 4th/5th in the league is some going. The first 45 minutes against Dundee is probably still the best we've played this season. It's just a pity we've not really seen this swashbuckling style again this season with Ferry and Trapanovski working in tandem on one side and Sevelj and Thomson on the other meaning we looked like scoring every time we went forward. To be fair, other teams obviously watched this match and immediately started putting plans in place for how to stop us playing. St Johnstone actually man marked Ferry. Man marking a left back is not something you see very often. What is good is we are seeing a decent spread of goals with a decent few from defenders such as Ross Graham in the League Cup game against St Mirren (aided by their smert keeper) and the penalty at Killie, Luca Stephenson against St Johnstone, Hibs and Ross County and Mani against St Mirren. These goals have made up for us being pretty pragmatic and no exactly creating loads of chances for strikers, especially in those August-September games. Kevin Holt in midfield was fine for a one-off but to persist with it for three weeks was pretty grim viewing. 

However, the gutsiness has been on show all season and has become more and more apparent as time has went on. Coming back after being second best by miles away at Ross County, digging it out in the second half against St Johnstone, the controlled way we won at Tynecastle, coming back after looking all at sea down at Kilmarnock (a venue we normally fold at) which was all the more impressive given it came off the back of two defeats. 

Best of all though is of course the Hibs home game. The greatest comeback since Jesus. That last 5 minutes is up there with anything I've seen in my 40-odd years as a United supporter. So many teams and managers would have been happy to get the point after Stephenson (our right back) scoring the equaliser but instead we chucked on attackers and pushed Keven Holt up front. The scenes when that Meshack goal finally bounced off the bar and into the net are the reason why we all love football so much. I was still buzzing in the middle of the next week. The laddie Meshack hasn't shown anything and looks like he's had a pretty miserable time so it was nice to see his reaction at the goal (and the reaction of his team mates to him). Pitch invasions by fans and subs, managers getting decked and falling on their puss, rival coaches arguing like fuck. The English Premiership never comes anywhere close to it. 

What has been frustrating is that all of our defeats have been self-inflicted. Standing and admiring a poor SEVCO team for the first 20 minutes before realising that actually having some of the ball might be the best way of stopping the opposition rather than just having a 'low block' (modern day football code for camping on your 18 yard line) and giving the ball away every time due to having boys looking like fish out of water like Holt at CM and Babunski wide right. I was at the Motherwell game in the League Cup and came away feeling like we didn't deserve to win on the night. A dreadful first half with two teams just completely cancelling each other out. Our response finally came with us just lumping balls up to Dalby and Moult which eventually did give us some joy. But even after equalising, I felt Motherwell looked more like winning. Their forwards had far better movement and our defence and midfield struggled with players breaking the lines and you could see us getting dragged all over the place. Our defence has done well this season but they are not exactly blessed with pace or mobility and Motherwell exploited this. I think this led us into the panicked challenge for the penalty. The Motherwell league game was either us winning a or a draw until Mani's brainfart. Fucking annoying after Luca's brainfart in the cup game. To be fair to both they have both learned from it. Mani launched a few balls into row z at the St Mirren game the other Saturday which was pleasing. 

The away defeat at Aberdeen seemed to come down to belief. They believed they could win and we didn't. Jim Goodwin's tactic appeared to be to get to about 70 minutes then open up a bit more and have a go. As soon as they scored that plan was goosed and there was no alternative tactics other than us running about like headless chickens and tbh we were lucky we only lost 1-0 (although Will Ferry should have scored at the end). This game probably highlighted our limitations in midfield. Unless Ross Docherty plays we never really have any controlled possession in there and it leaves us too reliant on set pieces or pretty random 'punchers chance' types of attacks. Our lack of pace in the centre forward area also makes us too one-dimensional and the same issue still persists from last season; we are too ponderous when building attacks. This is frustrating since we have plenty of wingers and our full backs are certainly keen to attack. I'll just add that I was away this weekend and didn't see the Motherwell away defeat but by all accounts we were decent enough going forward (oddly, considering what I've just said above, we actually dominated the ball) but struggled badly defensively particularly due to our lack of a back-up left back. And to be fair, in the Killie draw last week we were much more attack minded right from kick off so hopefully manager and players are done with this sit-in for 70 minutes then open up a bit last 20 tactic. That's three times Motherwell have beaten us this season though. I think it's fair to say they have our number. Each time we've struggled badly against their movement in the forward area. They are the only team we've played so far that have had decent movement up top actually. In the away cup game they were pulling our defenders all over the place for a good 20 minutes before they won the penalty. Most of the other teams we've played (including Rangers) have played big target men or strikers who have been pretty static which has suited us given our lack of mobility at the back. Judging by the goals on Saturday and the reports of how much our back three in general (Gallagher in particular, who's been my POTY so far) struggled again at Motherwell it's worrying given we just have Celtic to play next week 😨 

Another wee footballing moan though: I found it strange that Jim Goodwin chose not to use any first team fringe players in the recent B Team League Cup game against Dunfermline.  Surely it would have been an ideal game to give boys some game time like Odada (who is now looking like he is up to speed but needs starts and surely would have had a big influence), Meshack (who clearly looks like he needs games since he looks miles off it bar his wonder-goal), Miller Thomson (who has fallen out of the picture after his promising start to the season)  and Van Der Sande (surely would have been a good chance for him to get an elusive goal/shot on target/get within 30 yards of the goal). The most bizarre one was playing Ruriadh Adams in goal who is playing every week for Kelty when we have Dave Richards on the bench every week (not played since League Cup groups) and Jack Newman who is back from ICT having not played since about early September. I don't get it. It's not like were are beset by first team injuries so we couldn't risk any of the first team squad to play a midweek reserve game. Surely these boys would have been itching to play too. Fair enough giving the young lads a game but these boys (bar Alan Domeracki) are all still playing every week for the u18s so it's not like they are not getting match practice unlike the first team fringe players who are doing little bar warming the bench most weeks. The fact we lost the game just made the team selection all the more frustrating.

On the subject of having someone's number:

St Mirren fans are a rational, well-balanced bunch aren't they? Putting aside the fact we should have been 3 up before the first penalty you'd think they'd been victims of some sort of Q-Anon conspiracy the way they are frothing at the mouth. Lets look at their many bones of contention:

1. Walton foul. Two players going at speed, ball bouncing. Walton tries to clear thd ball when it bounces up but is just half a second too late. The ball is going wide so there is no goalscoring opportunity denied. He catches the boy but it looks worse than it actually was, especially in slow motion. Yellow was fair.

2. Adegboyega handball. Apparently it was perfectly fair for Olesagne to pull Mani right off balance to the point he throws up an arm an loses his footing. It's a penalty in the same way that it would be a penalty if someone threw a ball at your arm whilst the Undertaker was giving you a Tombstone Piledriver  

3. Holt penalty. The boy actually boots Holt in the back of the leg. He doesn't look like he's getting anywhere near the ball. On Sportscene they were trying to make out that it shouldn't have been a penalty because they boy wasn't trying to play the ball, just trying to kick Holt. So in other words if you rap a boy in the puss in the box it's ok as long as it's off the ball. That explains how Broadfoot and Baird never once got penalised last season. Honest to fuck.

4. Moult penalty. Whilst I agree this is of the soft variety, you can clearly see Fraser pulling his jersey and he also trips Moult. If those hadn't happened Moult scores, 100%.

So basically the ref and VAR unusually were right on all calls and being a St Mirren fan involves greeting about how you've never got a decision before, ever...

I was right in line with this that day at Hampden and still have absolutely no fucking idea who Gallacher is interfering with here. His own player???

Anyway, maybe if St Midden's current team of rugby league jobbers did something other that punt and hunt they might finally get a result against us this season.

And we should have all known that the Scottish football establishment was going to get their own back on us for getting a few soft-ish decisions. The stuff in the past two games has been laughable.

Doing Things The Right Way: Part 2

The last blog I did at the end of last season highlighted how the club had started making some good decisions at long last, particularly in the area of recruitment by simplifying things and putting trust in the manger to identify and recruit players. This has been widened out slightly with the appointment of Michael Cairney this season but it is clear that the Manager is still in charge of this process which means it has been done with a strategy in mind in terms of formations and filling gaps in the squad. Contrast this with the earlier Ogren/Asghar recruitment which seemed to be done with some sort of 'angle' or about making a 'statement'in mind. It's like night and day and appears to be staying within a budget too. We've made loads of good recruitment getting good value for money from Eastern Europe and FINALLY have started using the English market a bit better with some really good loans. Imagine that. If only we'd went for players we couldn't afford eh? 

How have the signings ranked?

Walton: hit (speed up a bit though ffs)

Adegboyega: hit (baller imho but still makes some daft mistakes)

Ferry: hit (just enjoy him while we can)

Sevelj: hit (was outstanding in the Ross County game, been a long time since snce I've seen a United player really 'take a game')

Stephenson: hit (great attitude, a wee warrior, but I think he's limited in a footballing sense. Can only play whatever way he's facing. It's highlighted more in midfield and we can't play through him. Him playing beside a Docherty or Sibbald would be better)

Trapanovski: hit (still think there is more to some from him too)

Dalby: hit (who'd have thought so after his first few games? Tbh he looked mince to start with but by Christ, if you give him service he knows where the goal is).

Van Der Sande: miss (actually, I wish he would miss. At least it would mean he got into a position to take a shot. No doubting his attitude but he's got worse and worse as the season has gone on. I don't think he's a poor player either. Just score a goal ffs). 

Babunski: jury's out (slows us down, and needs to start being a LOT more direct, in terms of actually trying to play passes that hurt teams, instead of getting the ball, doing that wee change of feet then getting caught on the ball like, EVERY time).

Odada: jury's out (looked miles off it to start with but recent subby appearances got much better until the daft Killie penalty. I'd start him in few games to see how he gets on. You don't play regularly for a mid-ranking African national team if you are hopeless. The standard is higher than United surely).

Meshack: (didn't) miss (again probably needs some starts and needs to realise that it's 90 minute football he's playing not 10 second Instagram reels. Gave us the best United moment since Middleton v Alkmaar though) Loan?

Richards: ?????

Strain: jury's out (telling that I forgot him. Yes he had a terrible injury but he was poor down at Falkirk before that. He's been ok, can cross the ball well but he's not very dynamic and defensively is so-so imho. Good right backs are like hens teeth these days at all levels, especially in Scotland).

However, issues continue to linger in the background. The club's relationship with the Supporters Foundation seems to have gone full circle in the past six years. The relationship is back to square one: where the club barely acknowledges the existence of an organisation that represents a large proportion of the club's support and has put well over half a million pounds into the club for very little in return other than token gestures and rewards. Judging by the summary of the recent Foundation AGM the club appear to have taken the huff that the Foundation rightly said they wouldn't be paying for day-to day maintenance costs for the stadium and that the membership agreed with the position (after the club tried to bounce them into it with a survey that contained more leading questions than a Daily Mail interview with Boris Johnson). The relationship vicious circle appears to have gone like this:

The club removing all advertising of the Foundation's existence and the few 'perks' for Foundation members this season, without any notice, is next-level-pettiness. Recent mixed messages about the reasons why the Shed keeps getting used for away fans were exposed with a simple discussion with Police Scotland (which can't be happy getting blamed for decisions that weren't theirs). It doesn't take Carol Vorderman levels of maths to to put 2 + 2 together and work out the real reason is the club think they'll make more money from away supporters than they will from United supporters. At least the club eventually saw sense and allocated us the Shed for the Aberdeen game albeit after a lot of arm-twisting.

I've said more than once on here that the club have been treating the support like a cash cow under Ogren more than any previous owner in my lifetime. And tbh, we seem to be getting milked more and more. Ticket prices have risen, prices of everything in the shop are higher; strips especially, continually getting 3rd strips released (with ever more tenuous bullshit design rationales: 8-bit kit ffs) for 6 months which effectively renders the away strip defunct by Christmas (the only decent one we've had was the 100 year anniversary kit which never got released). It's at this point that that well trodden statement is rolled out about Ogren putting millions into the club and wanting his money back. How much is it now anyway? £8 million? £10 million? £13 million? £15 million? I sometimes wonder what brand of calculator they use at Tannadice? My guess is a Seville Calculator.

Personally, I would like to see an acknowledgment of how much the support have put into the club in recent years. They could also maybe add how much other income has come into the club during that time. Maybe even offering shares in the club to the Foundation to be held in trust on behalf of the support?

Posted this a while ago but:

I wonder what Ogren's net spend actually is on United? He's had some pretty significant sums of money come into the club during his time in charge 

Harry Souttar add on

Kerr Smith fee

Shankland fee & add on?

Jamie Robson fee

Appere fee

Fuchs fee

Niskannen fee

Insurance payout Covid?

Scottish Government loan Covid

UEFA youth money

Conference League money

Various coefficient money (£650,000 in early 2024 for example)

Behich add on

Tam Courts compensation?

Prize money for winning Championship

Prize money for finishing 9th

Prize money for finishing 4th

Prize money for reaching Scottish Cup semi

Record season ticket sales each year near enough

Big merchandise sales each season

Money for Shankland going to Euros

Money for Behich going to World Cup

Scott Banks fee

Robbie Neilson to Hearts compo

Compo for Goldie going to Swansea?

Compo for Adam Asghar going to Sunderland?

Carling Stand sponsorship

Money from last season

Parachute payment for going down

Prize money for winning the league this season

Stadium naming rights money for Tannadice

Healthy gate money again this season

Brandon Forbes fee

More UEFA coefficient money coming this season (£1 million?)

If he's still £13 million down a hole after all this then that's entirely his fault.

But do these things really matter? When the team on the park are doing well, like we are this season, then probably not. However, I want the relationship between the club and the support to be a positive one: a partnership. Not one where fans loyalty is continually stretched further and further in an increasingly one-sided relationship.

What will be next after Ogren? Tbh at the moment I'm happy the club are starting to wash their own face and that football decisions are being done in the right way. If the club (Ogren) could repair their relationship with the Supporters Foundation and maybe stop fleecing the fans as much I'd be quite happy for him to continue as owner. With the Fun's alleged move to Nou Campy, I'd like to see us fix up Tannadice, ideally rebuilding the Shed as a two tier stand to 'finish' the stadium in the way Hearts and Hibs have in the last decade. That would be a good way of showing potential fans that we are still attractive compared to a neighbour with a shiney new stadium. The rumours of the club's next owner have caused some excitement but I remain sceptical that we will become nothing more than an afterthought very low down on some rich tycoon's portfolio. Fuck being a feeder club for some new-money, lower-mid-table EPL outfit like Brentford or Brighton who have a fraction of the history and success of Dundee United or, some mega-rich cunt who blethers shite about bringing communities together whilst actively avoiding paying taxes in any country they operate in. United will always be worth FAR more than that. But then, that's just modern football isn't it? And just like modern life, it's rubbish.