Madness is Tangerine in Colour

Todays BBC Open University Equation: Round pegs + round holes = SUCCESS Well then, our leader Mark Ogren said if we went down it would be no big deal. Our rave-loving cheerleader Big G on the Dode Fox Podcast said we'd skoosh this league. I'll take big G's more informed prediction over Ogren's since he knows his football, almost as much as he knows his house music whilst Ogren was just clutching for straws to get supporters off his back. But they are both getting proved right I suppose which is the main thing. We shouldn't have doubted their wisdom. I was asked last month what I thought about United so far this season and said, "I'm happy enough with how it's going. Is it exciting stuff every week? No. But it's not terrible or boring either. It's like night and day from last season. The difference is he's got round pegs in round holes." Just to expand on that what I mean is on the park Jim Goodwin has assembled a TEAM. A team who appear

Season 2022-23 Post Script We were brilliant against Alkmaar at home. I got pished in Holland. Some cunt stole my case. Every cunt played through us with ease because we had no defensive midfielder and no pace at the back. We got pumped 7-0 in Holland then 9-0 against Celtic but Ryan Edwards says the players never downed tools. The goalkeeper looks horrendous: incapable of even making bread and butter saves. The defence look petrified. The quickest he moves is to like a Joe Hart Instagram post after the 9-0 game. Although it's the other horrendous goalkeeper who is in goal for the ultimate humiliation. Imagine what would have happened if they players hadn't tried as hard as they did against Celtic? The club (aka Tony and Ogren) decided to side with the hard-working players and chose to empty Jack Ross despite my wife thinking his suit jacket and chino shorts combination looked magnificent (which it did). They also scoffed at suggestions that we were still at least two players s

All is well in St Andrews. It's great being here, those doubters and haters with their dinosaur-era, short-sighted views on how a football club should be run are 20 miles up the road. Flicking through Saturdays programme, I am heartened to see that we won 1-0 against Killie in the Scottish Cup.  "Trust the process." I say out loud. WWWOOOOOOSSSSSHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Suddenly there's a blinding flash of light and I can't see for a minute. Slowly things start to clear and I realise I'm not in my office anymore. There's a mysterious figure in front of me. "Who are you? What are you doing here???? You're not from Companies House are you?" "I am The Watcher."   "You look like Dick Donnelly." "I am The Watcher." "Na, you definitely look like Dick Donnelly." "Aw right, I'm fucking Dick Donnelly then." "I'm..." "No names, I deal in actions, not people in the Multiverse." "W

It’s the 23rd of December 2016 and I’m on my works end of term Christmas night out.  There’s about a dozen of us squeezed into a couple of tables in the Phoenix and in  amongst trying to listen to umpteen conversations at the same time I look up and notice  someone sitting across the packed pub. To everyone else in my group it’s just a normal  looking guy in his late 50’s. Someone notices me looking across and I’m a bit star  struck.   “Who’s that Scott?” “That’s John Holt. He’s a Dundee United legend.” “He was a footballer?” “Yeah, he played when we won the league. Great player. Hang on… there’s a photo.” “Are you sure that’s him? Where’s his moustache?” “You should go and ask him for a photo.” “Na, he’s in company.” “Ach go on, I’ll come with you and take the picture.”   “I don’t know…” After about half an hour of humming and hawing I worked up the courage to slowly go  across the busy pub to ask for a photo. Why was I so nervous? Well basically not  wanting to embarrass John. I had