Round Pegs in Round Holes

Todays BBC Open University Equation:

Round pegs + round holes = SUCCESS

Well then, our leader Mark Ogren said if we went down it would be no big deal. Our rave-loving cheerleader Big G on the Dode Fox Podcast said we'd skoosh this league. I'll take big G's more informed prediction over Ogren's since he knows his football, almost as much as he knows his house music whilst Ogren was just clutching for straws to get supporters off his back. But they are both getting proved right I suppose which is the main thing.

We shouldn't have doubted their wisdom. I was asked last month what I thought about United so far this season and said, "I'm happy enough with how it's going. Is it exciting stuff every week? No. But it's not terrible or boring either. It's like night and day from last season. The difference is he's got round pegs in round holes."

Just to expand on that what I mean is on the park Jim Goodwin has assembled a TEAM. A team who appear to be fit, know their jobs, be well prepared for the oppositions strengths and weaknesses and most importantly in my opinion, one which has balance in virtually every position.

And there you go: "We're doing away fine." 

Not sure how you stretch that to 1500 words?

I think after the Spartans game and Partick Thistle game we were all in panic mode, myself included. But credit to Handsome Jim he's proved what I probably thought for a while, that it's actually not that difficult to build a half decent team in Scottish football. Get boys playing in a shape which suits them, get players who are comfortable in that shape, stick with that shape rather than changing things every other week and get the players fit and strong. Fucking revolutionary stuff. 

How has he managed this witchcraft? Well, he’s got a decent goalkeeper who is not on a mission to make our lives a misery, a right back who is not Liam Smith, two centre halves who are not, not downing tools like Edwards and Mulgrew, a left back who looks like Scott McMann but doesn’t have PTSD, a centre midfielder who doesn’t down tools at the first sign of adversity, wins tackles, isn’t as slow as a week in jail, doesn’t get paid upwards of four grand a week and doesn’t leave poor Craig Sibbald looking like ‘The Bride’ in Kill Bill trying to single-handedly fight the ‘Crazy 88’ (to be fair Jordan Tillson is doing a good impersonation of last season’s midfielders). He’s also made Glenn Middleton thin and fit and Tony Watt slightly less shit. He’s done amazingly well given that Mark Ogren continues to bar him from having any more than two strikers on the books at any one time (it’s starting to have shades of the Sith Lord's’ ‘rule of two’ in Star Wars actually). Getting Louis Moult fit has also bucked the trend of years of boys signing for United then appearing to fall foul of Harold Shipman in the treatment room and disappearing for months at a time.  He’s even been playing some of our youngsters for more than 5 minutes at the end of a game. Imagine that. And what’s more amazing, they are actually starting to play well (until the Falkirk game at least). And what even MORE amazing than that: they are not relentlessly being linked with the under 23’s of some mediocre English Premiership club.

Sarcasm aside, it’s been refreshing enjoying watching us again even, putting aside the fact that the league we are in is poor, the qualities the team are showing should carry over into the Premiership if we see the job through this season. There is character, resilience, clear evidence of leadership on the park where the players themselves seem to be able to find solutions if things aren’t working. The manager has also got it right tactically most of the time, the players look well prepared and appear to be carrying out his instructions. There’s been games where he’s made changes that have affected the game for the better (both Airdrie games, Raith and ICT away amongst others). When you consider the absolute chaos of last season it just shows what happens when you get players who are not full of their own importance and think they know better than the manager and want to put the work in.  It’s all the more remarkable considering that he’s done this all whilst standing watching the game rather than sitting looking at an I-Pad for long periods.

Breaking things down, how have we done so well?

A strong spine 

We have a very decent goalkeeper (witness his brilliant late save on against Arbroath despite having almost nothing to do all night and his even better save against Dunfermline the other week which probably won us the game show what a difference a decent keeper makes). With last season's 'keepers', one of hopeless cunts would have been about 15 yards out of position whilst the even worse one would have adjusted his feet so it was possible to jump away from the ball. Let's be honest, we'd have been delighted with one that was even competent so getting one who is actually pretty good has been a welcome relief. Getting Walton back on loan for next season should be top priority. I thought against Arbroath he really looked like he was enjoying himself too. Stay for another year John Boy, you know you want to.

Two centre halves who defend first and foremost (neither are particularly quick either but a. have good positional sense to negate that weakness b. are clearly well coached by the manager so no Jack Ross kamikaze high line and no Tam Courts stand on the 18 yard line all game and leave the midfield and particularly the forwards to do all the work. Gallagher and Holt really compliment each other well and throw in Holt's goal threat you have a major upgrade on last season. A slight concern is Gallagher's form has slightly shaded in the Inverness and Dunfermline games. I kind of put that down to Ross Docherty not being there. You really can't overestimate his importance in offering himself to the defence for passes and protecting them from midfield runners (witness Airdrie's chance the other week, ICT's and Dunfermline's goals as well). Tillson is a poor, poor substitute for Docherty. The difference against Dunfermline when Chris Mochrie came on was stark. Mochrie actually shows for the ball like Docherty does, whereas Tillson hides. Mochrie also plays progressive passes, like Docherty does, whereas Tillson just passes the buck.

And what also helps if the centre halves are well protected by the two centre midfielders one of whom is a holding player! Who'd have thought it, if only we'd had one of them last season? If only someone had told Ross, Asghar and Fox to get one in asap? What prevented us signing someone like this? 'The process' that was it eh? We were all told to 'trust the process'. Oblivious to the fact you could pick three boys out of Sandy's who could have played through our midfield last season. It's a shame it took a relegation for that shite to get binned.  Ross Docherty's influence has been immense. He's brought out the best in Craig Sibbald too. I know he'd been spoken about as a signing just for the Championship but if (when?) we go up next year I don't see any reason why he wouldn't cope at Premier League level. He'd definitely have improved our midfield last season (Harkes, Djoum anyone?) and probably would have provided a platform for a boy like Levitt to play. Levitt who can't get a game for a shite Hibs side btw I'm and in my opinion is talented but lazy and needing the right boys around him to actually make any meaningful contribution suggesting we've dodged a bullet on that one. Docherty and Sibbald compliment each other and once again, there is a lot of be said for that. When you consider we signed Jordan Tilson, who'd been a regular for Ross County for three years in the Premier League and he can't get a look-in and tbh doesn't look like he will either, it suggests that those two will at least get a chance in the top league. They are showing for the ball much more often as the season is going on which means we are seeing less of defenders passing the ball across the backline 600 times, letting opponents get into shape, then punting the ball up or out of the park. It's still happening in some games (it's the modern-day football disease) but it's happening a lot less at least.

Finally, up front we've got the best striker in the league (and probably one who'd be one of the better non-Celtic and SEVCO ones too) in Louis Moult and it appears Goodwin is the United manager who is FINALLY starting to get a tune out of Tony Watt in some games at least (he was pish in the Dunfermline game recently though). It is noticeable in the last few games that he is playing two up front rather than the contrived number 10 position Watt was playing earlier in the season. The thing with Watt is, you're never really sure how long any bursts of good form/attitude are going to last. And his Vlog is a rather odd thing. Basically all he does in it is eat. Then point the camera to other Utd players who tell him or everyone watching to fuck off.

A bit of width

Added to the spine of the team, the full backs are actually doing a job too. Scott McMann is looking like a different player  from the one who looked like he had PTSD last season. Actually, he's looking more like the player he was when we first signed him before getting shunted umpteen around different defensive positions, having to worry about what Mulgrew and Edwards were going to do next. On the other side Liam Grimshaw has been steady if unspectacular. Then difference is though he doesn't give the ball away 600 times a game like Liam Smith and actually looks like he can pass the ball either into midfield or down the line (occasionally) unlike Smith (and Kieran Freeman tbh) who appeared to think they were playing rugby and are not allowed to pass the ball forwards.

The wide players are also actually adding something to the team. Glenn Middleton appears to have detached himself from the caravan he was towing around behind him for the past 14 months whilst Kai Fotheringham is starting to do the business. Hopefully we'll see him carve out a career at United rather than being flogged down to England at the first whiff of interest (we've got Cudjoe for that). Amazingly too, Handsome Jim is backing the global trend of 'inverted' wingers (you know those wide players who can't beat a man on the outside so carve out a career of doing the same thing every single time they get the ball of cutting inside and trying to hit a shot or an easy to defend cross and look like their weaker foot has never made contact with a football in their life). Some of the service going in from wide positions in the last few league games has been superb. Middleton destroying thon Arbroath right back was a joy to behold. His work rate is still an issue at times for me: Arbroath's best chance in the first half came from Middleton not tracking his man on two occasions in quick succession but it's obvious that Goodwin's decision was correct to allow him to play himself into form when many people, myself included were saying to drop him. Similar to Watt actually. The big issue with both is going to be complacency moving forward. 

Best performance of the season so far?

The first 45 against Arbroath, the second 45 against Queens Park and Partick Thistle were all great but it's got to be the home game against Arbroath. The fact we did it on the club's big night with a big crowd in attendance and an AMAZING display shows again, the mentality of the players this season. I could think of umpteen seasons in the past decade where we would have bottled that game. Instead we went out and smashed Arbroath for 90 minutes solid showing them up and their arse of a manager yet again. The last time we got promoted we made heavy weather of too many games like this, even if Lawrence Shankland often got us out of the the shite. Our good start in the first quarter of that season papered over a lot of average performances in the second quarter and piss-poor performances in the third quarter before Covid. This comes from the manager who sends the team out to impose themselves on the opposition rather than Robbie Neilson who too-often paid opponents far more respect than they deserved and was more interested in grinding teams down with hundreds of passes across the back four and nicking one nil's.

Worst game of the season?

The worst league game of the season so far has to be the Morton game (This paragraph was written before the Falkirk debacle). It's probably the only game of the season where we have fell into the trap United teams in the championship have previously fell into. After a good start and scoring a great goal, we allowed ourselves to get sucked in by Morton’s shit-housing. They were nothing but an ageing team of hatchet men who kicked and spoiled their way through to half time. However, at half time Goodwin should have told the players to get out there and quickly finish the job. Instead, we appeared to think that the game was already won because we offered absolutely nothing going forward. We just appeared to want to fart about with the ball at the back and in midfield passing up opportunities to try and attack and cut them open. We did a bit of this in the second-half at Arbroath but the difference was we were four nil up at the time. For as good as Jack Walton, Declan Gallagher and Kevin Holt have been they are only human and a brief moment of complacency slipped in where they clearly thought they were never going to be put under any serious pressure and instead made a collective fuck up, the likes of which happened every week last season but thankfully up until this point had not happened and hasn’t really happened since. This was the opportunity Morton needed to use every trick in the book to see out the game aided by the worst referee I have seen for a long time. The frustrating thing about this game is we took it for granted we were just going to see out the game. That is the sort of attitude that led us to defeats in games like Alloa, Dumbarton and Arbroath in previous Championship seasons.

2019/20 vs This Season?

Somebody mentioned making a comparison of the two teams so here's my tuppence worth:

Keeper: Benji (but only just)

Right back: Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha

Centre Half: Gallagher (but worth mentioning Paul Watson was really good)

Centre Half: Holt (goal threat and more football than Reynolds)

Left back: McMann (creates far more than Robson). I've got to hold my hands up on this one, after the Spartans game I thought he was finished at United but he's clearly worked on things and is one of our main attacking outlets. Just shows what can happen when you play someone consistently in their best position and have the right players around them.

Centre Mid: Docherty (when he is actually fit, which is not enough)

Centre Mid: Sibbald (imposes himself on games far more than Harkes, even though he is maybe less skillful than Harkes could be)

Right wing: Draw (McMullan was much maligned but could cause teams real problems in some games but could be horrendous in others, Fotheringham has been good and offers a goal threat but can drift out of games)

Left wing: Middleton (the 2019 team used Appere, Pawlett and Sporle there and all did a job but not a patch on what Middleton has done recently). Another one who is starting to prove me wrong. He's looking fitter and is working both ways in a way he never remotely did last season.

2nd Striker: Clark (the boy who got punted last season and is still scoring goals).

Centre Forward: Shankland. Toughest decision of all. If you'd asked me 3 weeks ago, I'd have probably said Moult but he's gone off the boil a bit recently. Shankland on his game was just top drawer.

The Fans

They just keep turning up in big numbers both home and away. The club really need to celebrate them as much as possible. I've always said we are an appreciative bunch and for the most part have been buying into what they've been seeing on the pitch. The Airdrie home game was probably the only exception. Personally I could see why we were just sitting off them and letting them have the ball but so many punters around me were screaming for some sort of cavalry charge, oblivious the the fact that the one time we were sucked out of our shape (Watt and Glass) they cut through us in 3 passes and almost scored. Considering the amount of times teams have parked the bus against over the years then picked us off personally I thought it was a nice wee change to see us do it to someone else. Lets face it, if Liam Fox had been in charge we'd have lost that game comfortably. At least Goodwin actually has a plan and the players are sticking at it. As long as it doesn't happen every week like it did under Micky Mellon I can live with the odd game like that as long as we win at the end of it.

Fucking Magnificent 

Falkirk: Fucking Horrific 

Fuck knows what you say about this. We started terribly improved to just plain bad then went all to fuck. Make no mistake, the second half was as bad as anything last season. I didn't want to be moaning in this blog but I'll say two things: 1. This defeat (if not this result) had been coming for a few weeks. After the season high performance at home to Arbroath there has been a gradual decline in performance and an increasing defensive vulnerability and 2. It would be easy to say this result was down to Docherty, Gallagher and Moult not playing and that Glass and Mochrie appear to wilt far too easily when playing from the start, particularly when team are right up for the fight like Falkirk were and that there is difference between looking good when you come on as a subbie in the last 20-30 minutes against tired players like both did against Dunfermline the week before. Or, that Ross Graham is just not up to it, especially when played on the wrong side of the defence. Or that, the goal apart, Watt strolled about looking like he didn't give a shit. All of this is of course true. However, it's also worth pointing out that Moult's form has been pish for about 6 weeks (since scoring against Raith in fact) and he was missing for a few games before that too and Gallagher had been making mistakes in recent games as well. I thought he wasn't great in any of the Airdrie, ICT or Dunfermline games.  Hopefully this is just down to injuries but the point is that I'm not as confident as many are that if these boys had been playing that we'd have won this game. I'd exempt Docherty from criticism because he has been our best player this season by a mile both in terms of his willingness to show for the ball allowing us to play out from the back much more effectively and his covering (along with the completely overworked Craig Sibbald of recent weeks) in front of the defence, allowing us to push the full backs higher up you can see where the problems have been. Goodwin imho should have seen this and you have to question his decision making in starting both Glass and Mochrie here. (Not that Tillson offers much cover or showing for the ball either mind you). Think a few people needed the boot up the arse that this game hopefully provided, Fun Cup or not.

Moving forwards I reckon Goodwin learned a lot about his squad. I reckon we are going to need a minimum of 6 players but probably more likely 8. A keeper (Walton if possible), a right back (to compete with Grimshaw with Freeman probably going), a centre half with pace, a defensive midfielder (for competition with Sibbald and Docherty. Lewis O'Donnell ready for the step-up?), a number 10 (no chance we'll get away with Watt playing there and it doesn't look like Meekison, Glass or Mochrie are really up to it in that role, or at all) and a striker (so we are not all bricking it every time when Moult goes down, this should addressed in January though. Rory McLeod sitting on his arse on the bench of a shite Forfar team and Sadat are not providing much hope for the future). That would be my 6. But, I'd probably add in a left back for competition with Scott McMann (unless Flynn Duffy steps up) and another wide player (I've had debates on What's App about whether or not the three we have are really up to it, personally I think Fotheringham is but others disagree. Again this hinges on whether boys like Miller Thomson are up it in the Premiership if we go up).

The Club

Anyway, things have more generally been a bit more positive. I prefer it when you don't hear much from the club. The rumour mill about the internal machinations of United appear to have gone since a certain individual took his leave of the club. The 100 year game was well organised (just a pity it was horrible weather) although the display team and the team performance clearly made the night. There has been a bit less of the 'give us money' stuff thankfully since Gussie was renamed and reopened although the huge delay in restocking the most common adult sizes of home and away strips was an all too familiar source of annoyance. I had to wait about 2 months for them. A case of 'same shit, different manufacturer'. I reckon this has now happened with the last three manufacturers and is now the third time my young lad has had to wait months on strips coming back into stock in his size. It's not the shop's fault of course, the staff there are brand new. But it really shouldn't be the case that unless you buy your strip right away in August (not July like everyone else, that's another United strip bugbear) you aren't getting one. The strips are now in apparently so I now have to decide whether to give the young lad it right away or wrap it up for his Christmas which is annoying because in 6 months he'll be asking for next season's. 

Ach well, lets end on a positive note. We're going up and no fucking global pandemics are going to ruin our party this time. And better still, next year will be 30 years since our first Scottish Cup win. A club celebration of all things Brewster, Petric, Welshy, McKinlay, McLaren, Dailly and Guido etc along with a range of magic hats and flowers for smelling better be on offer.

Lets get this fucking skooshed.